yes it is,. no its not!

Feb. 25, 2013

Good Morning World!!

It was a rough weekend with the kids. The little guy, whom I havent spoke of yet,. has a Mitochondrial disorder and is fed through a G-tube through his stomach. This week end he was weak and tired, and more than likely had a seisure sometime during the night. Poor little guy. of course it put my best friend/boyfriend and I on high alert for 48 hours, it is more like a staring contest.

For those of you who do not understand what this is. it is a rare Genetic disease that effects the little tiny "caterpillar" inside the cell wall. This little creature is solely responsible for grabing up your energy and transporting it to the areas of the body it regulates. Simply put, His are damaged.

His disease helped me during my transformation over the last year, and I am held grateful to the experiance.

I was very excited with my "discovery" and improved health, and tried to explain this to my doctor the best I could, and I was met with "you dont have a mitochondrial disorder." <deflate>

Here is how I feel about that statement. He is right, I do not beleive for a second I have MS ALS  or any other neurological disorder. I beleive I am reactive to the infection that took over my life for 3 years, and I am healing. Bottom line to his comment,. he was the only one who stepped forward, out of the box, and made a decision that saved my life. I also deeply believe in science and medicine, even though I have worked for nearly 20 years in alternative practices.  With that being said,. I still can not paint or sculpt or make glass beads, and everything I own is covered in dust. I also realize that this man spent more than 10 years of his career, proving his worth before even being able to go into private practice. I would find it hard to stomach a patient who came into my practice and said,. "I made  smoothie and healed myself" which is how it must of sounded. I also say this, knowing the an emotionally physically special needs little boy and an undereducated massage therapist had paved the way for me.

When I first began the Dr Walhs Protocol, it worked, but I still had problems. I was reading every comment that came across her page,. with excitment,. but disappointed that I wasn't having the same result. I even stopped the 80/20 paleo split, and went 100%. Still, I remained concerned and over whelmed with physical weakness, a lack of mental clarity, I dropped objects, I still had "dizzy" spells, that left me homebound, for the most part. I kept telling myself, I needed more time to heal,. but it also occured to me, that 6 months past treatment, I should not be going in reverse, much less idle. The Walhs protocal helped, but I wasnt getting any better either.  I was despartely trying to find a way out, and no one, even my most trusted physicans, had any advise. I would get the usual advise,. move excersie, watch your diet. I did all that,.I would improve. I made "leaps and bounds" progress, only to fall off a cliff.

A year earlier, one of my therapist tried to get me to blend my foods. At the time, a tic tac would throw me into violent stomach pain, and I was only eatting 2 meals a week, drinking(sipping for 8 hrs) soda or energy drinks, 1 a day, to keep me going for the rest of the time. I had my life set in a  pattern I could control. eat on Saturday, sick sunday work monday tuesday, eat tuesday night, sick wednesday, back to work on thursday and friday. I wasnt about to disrupt it.

I was surround by an oasis of great advisors/doctors, that brought me this far, and alternative, although peaceful and appriciated, could send me crashing into painful spasms, and shuttering body sweats.  so no thank you.

Three weeks into the wahls protocol, I started putting years of conversations together. I think the worst thing I ever did, or even experianced, was NOT giving my doctors all the signs or symptoms. I was well aware of the patient who would arrive with a list of complaints, 45 mins long,. and I wasnt about to go there. There were these minor greviences that I should have shared. My hair is naturally curley,.not anymore, my toenails embedded, my skin on my hands and feet, shriveled and became tight, cracked calused, and would split open and bleed., then the skin would peel off like a glove. my muscles in my face would twitch, and my right eye lid began to droop, my head would tilt to the side, I couldnt hold myself still, while waiting in line at the store,. I would get dizzy and nearly fall over, we were concerned with the major alarms , not the little bells.

One of my advisors kept saying,. "you are malabsorbed" I was gaining weight this whole time. He would repeat over and over,."malabsorbed" Obese people are NOT well nurished, as the world and media would have you beleive, They are starving to death, essecially, with the poor food choices and preservatives and food enhancers, causing the body to panic and convert everything to fat.

Knowing how this little boy absorbs calories,.knowing we have to break down the cell walls in order for him to survive, A light went off in my head. This little guy uses a formula that is broken down for him,. I had been told before by a therapist that 3HP blenders do this as well,.if I could break the cell walls down (dr wahls speaks of this often) maybe I could make a difference. I bought fresh vegetables from the flea market, ordered a 3HP blender, and began. It worked!! In 3 days, the migraine my doctor could never get under control, that I had even after treatment,.disappeared. In 5 days, my stomach pain disappeared. It had improved after treatment, and I was gratful for that, but there always remained a constant reminder. A pain that kept me on alert for problems were about to arise. I was still weak, physically weak,. and I slept all the time. I could barely keep my promises,. and some of my clients, were willing to move around to accomodate. My family,. though barely supportive before, surpisingly bent over backwards. I was no longer required to keep the expected pace. So kindnesses were noted, I was deeply depressed that they had to be there at all. I wanted my llife back.

Then I read an article about Phytonutriants, micro little bits of nutrition that disappears from the plant 4-10 hours after harvest. My family found a hydroponic organic Upick farm (who knew) close to home. I began to notice a difference. my strength began to  return. I didnt notice this slowly over time,. it was in 10 DAYS!! It was so significant, I began to grow my own greens, planted my own hydroponic garden,. and harvest eveyday! I blend one meal daily, with lots of greens, sulfite, and colored veggies. My best friend/boyfriend, struggles with the veggie smoothies, so I make him one with fruit and add kale. he is getting the kale whether he likes it or not.

I still struggle. I still make bad choices, sometimes the exhaustion wins, and its chinese food, or pizza for dinner. (cause I still try to hard and do to much, more then my body can handle)

The difference between then and now,. is, I am more able to realize how important my choices are, I have a better understanding of what gives me strength and what takes it away. If I do make a bad choice, I am fully capable to recovering, through food choices. If I develop a migriane,. I know to blend a smoothie, instead of "take a pill". I still struggle with recall,. and forget readily. my daily plans are never accomplished,. I use to be an advid reader,,excelled in math and spelling, spot on acountant, master chef,  homemaker, business woman. I NEVER forgot anything anyone ever said to me, EVER! I am not anywhere near that person anymore, nor am I anywhere near what I want to be, one year into this tranformation. I am, much better then I was. I am capable, I never thought so little would mean so much. The lessons have been many.  Instead of complete darkness with no way out, there is a light.

I post notes all over my private spaces that simply say,. Keep moving forward,. dont EVER give up!